I hate that I pretend everything is fine.
As if I’m not burning from the hollow points of my soul.
As if I’m not reeling from the loss of control.

I shouldn’t be like this.
My soul shouldn’t feel like it’s trapped.
The moon shouldn’t be my mother, and the night shouldn’t be my sanctuary.

Isn’t pitiful how no one notices?
I know that two sets of scars will haunt me forever.
I’m terrified that more sets will come.

I feel like I could be two different people.
An empty, hollow mask.
A living, breathing, thriving fire.

But I know I am one person.
Because I feel ashamed for being happy sometimes.
Because I hate the way I want to disfigure my skin more.

It’s some sort of internal war that I’m waging.
The fire was winning at one point.
But the the mask began to strangle it again .

I hate that I relapsed and not know why.

mor-iarty:

Study Buddy→  A playlist to keep you company whilst you study away. A combination of upbeat songs with some classical and mellow pieces thrown into the mix to keep you focused.

1. Paper Planes - MIA // 2. Harlem - New Politics // 3. Flaws - Bastille // 4. Royals - Lorde // 5. Partita No.6 in E minor, BWV 830. Toccata - Bach // 6. Breezeblocks - alt-J // 7. Lost - Frank Ocean // 8. My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy // 9. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen // 10. America - Imagine Dragons // 11. Pictures - Benjamin Francis Leftwich // 12. Nocturne in E-flat Major, Op. 9, No. 2 - Chopin // 13. Chocolate - The 1975 // 14. Afraid - The Neighbourhood // 15. Team - Lorde // 16. The Cello Song - Bach // 17. Why’d You Only Call Me When Your High? - Arctic Monkeys // 18. Secrets - One Republic // 19. Walking On Sunshine // 20. Atlas Hands - Benjamin Francis Leftwich // 21. Best Day Of My Life - American Authors // 22. Holy Grail - Jay Z feat. Justin Timberlake // 23. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People // 24. Clare De Lune - Debussy // 25. Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz // 26. Naive - The Kooks // 27. Say My Name/Cry Me A River - The Neighbourhood // 28. Jumanji - Glass Towers // 29. Hey Soul Sister - Train // 30. Duet - Philip Glass

{listen here}

mor-iarty:

Study Buddy→  A playlist to keep you company whilst you study away. A combination of upbeat songs with some classical and mellow pieces thrown into the mix to keep you focused.

1. Paper Planes - MIA // 2. Harlem - New Politics // 3. Flaws - Bastille // 4. Royals - Lorde // 5. Partita No.6 in E minor, BWV 830. Toccata - Bach // 6. Breezeblocks - alt-J // 7. Lost - Frank Ocean // 8. My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy // 9. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen // 10. America - Imagine Dragons // 11. Pictures - Benjamin Francis Leftwich // 12. Nocturne in E-flat Major, Op. 9, No. 2 - Chopin // 13. Chocolate - The 1975 // 14. Afraid - The Neighbourhood // 15. Team - Lorde // 16. The Cello Song - Bach // 17. Why’d You Only Call Me When Your High? - Arctic Monkeys // 18. Secrets - One Republic // 19. Walking On Sunshine // 20. Atlas Hands - Benjamin Francis Leftwich // 21. Best Day Of My Life - American Authors // 22. Holy Grail - Jay Z feat. Justin Timberlake // 23. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People // 24. Clare De Lune - Debussy // 25. Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz // 26. Naive - The Kooks // 27. Say My Name/Cry Me A River - The Neighbourhood // 28. Jumanji - Glass Towers // 29. Hey Soul Sister - Train // 30. Duet - Philip Glass